Superwoman Complex?

I've had pretty much the same plan in my head since I found out I was pregnant: that I'd stay home with the kidlet during the day while taking graduate school classes at night until I finish my degree.

As you saw on the blog earlier this week, I have been able to arrange this plan with my work.

I got a lot of support for this plan. BD is behind it 100%.

But now that I actually have to enroll in the courses for next semester, people are coming out of the woodwork advising me to reconsider taking classes. These people are all moms, all smart, all accomplished, and they come from my family, school, and work life.

People, I'm already leaving my career. The kid will be about 6 weeks old when I start classes again... over 4 months old during finals. Do I really need to be at home 168 hours every week? Am I really going to be so tired and so frazzled, that I can't handle 6 hours of class-time plus an additional 6 hours of study time a week?

And if your answer to both of these questions are "yes," then I'd love to hear your advice on how I should sell that to my bosses. "Oh by the way, when I said I was coming back in January 2008, it'll probably be more like January 2009... is that okay?"

I know it won't be the easiest route...but I have never taken the easiest route. So, I'd love to get some more feedback: Am I really not the superwoman I seem to think I am?

The Work Situation

I billed this blog as a "working woman's guide to pregnancy"...and yet I've been nearly silent on my maternity leave discussions and plans. This is because I've heard too many stories about people getting fired or in trouble for saying things about their office or employers on their personal blogs. So, I wanted to make sure everything was on the up and up before I took it online.

A bit of background...

I have been working at the same, wonderful public relations firm since 1999. Very few people in PR stay at the same place for a long time (two to three years seems like the average term). I have been incredibly loyal to the firm, because they have been incredibly loyal and supportive of me. I could definitely see myself here for the long-haul.

I also started graduate school (part-time, night class) last June. This decision was supported by my boss.

Then I got pregnant.

Okay, so I have the potential of making a beautiful life collage, using three main elements: motherhood, career, and academia. But am I a talented enough artist to do all three at once? My answer is probably not...and that if I tried I'd probably also be short-changing my roles as a wife and friend.

So I approached my bosses in January about this dilemma, and asked for their reaction to the following plan: that I take a leave of absence when the baby arrives that spans from delivery through the completion of my master's degree. That way I'd be home with the baby during the day and continue taking classes at night. With five courses left (one of which is a thesis), I projected I could return by January or May 2008, depending on my ability to juggle school and new motherhood.

Over the last two months, we have had dozens more conversations about the "plan." In short, they understand what I want (or think I want) to do... but it is inconvenient and undesirable for them. They say.... How about part-time starting in September? What if a big proposal opportunity comes through the door? Can we bid you in? Would you be able to work on an hourly basis on proposals? My answer to all of these questions had to be a "maybe," since I just don't really know what lies ahead.

Our firm's maternity leave policy is four weeks of paid leave with up to two additional weeks where you can use vacation or sick leave. We do not have a policy for leave of absence. So this is why I now have a letter of termination in my file.

So on April 14, I will technically no longer be employed. Anywhere. Weird. Do I worry that I won't be able to get a job back at the firm? No. Not really. But it is weird to think about.

I feel fortunate that I work in PR...in an agency...which has a revolving base of clients and projects anyway. My job changes on a regular basis anyway, so it won't be the biggest deal that it will undoubtedly be different when I get back. New project, new client...probably new team. C'est la vie.

But as great of a firm as it as--and as progressive and friendly my bosses are--this hasn't exactly been the easiest of negotiations. I really feel for the moms who've had to make impossible situations work out, simply because the options aren't there. It goes to show, we still really haven't figured out this "women in the workplace" thing.

Love this Article

Thinking about maternity leave....

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/10/AR2007031000081.html

Quick Updates

-The "maternity leave plan" letter has been submitted to my bosses. More details to come.

-I'm so ridiculously excited about the baby shower/ cocktail party on Saturday night.

-I'm loving the contest entries, though I'm paranoid about how many of you think I'm going to deliver earlier than my due date! Don't you know I'm banking on a late baby (so I can finish my semester at school)?!

-I'm starting the really tired phase again...very reminiscent of the first trimester. Good thing I have a couch in my office!

Maternity Leave

Wow, who knew figuring out maternity leave was going to be this complicated? Oh wait. I did. Sheesh!

More details when I actually work them out...

The Work Conversation

One of my goals for the New Year was to start the maternity leave conversation with my bosses. Maintaining a healthy balance between caring for an infant, finishing a masters degree, and moving my career forward is a major priority.

I will discuss all of this in more detail when it is resolved, but I did want to note that I have began these discussions with my employer. Oh what fun.

2007

Here it is: the year of the baby! Game on!

Okay, it's for real. I'm pregnant. Unbelievably, I'm already in my sixth month. I'm getting bigger daily, and the kid sure does love to kick me. So, it's time to get serious and start doing some real planning and preparation. Here's the list so far.

1. Sign up for childbirth class (Check. We're on for a full day one Sunday in March.)
2. Talk to work about my maternity leave plans (I'm hoping to do this the week after next.)
3. Start getting the house ready (Check. We made big progress this weekend with my brother-in-law moving into the basement apartment. His old room will be the nursery.)
4. Start getting gear (Setting up the registries was a good start. BD is also checking out video cameras and cars.)

I'm feeling good...kind of excited actually. Here's to a happy, healthy, a peaceful 2007 for all!

Job, School, Baby: What's the Right Mix?

It's probably time to start seriously thinking about what we are going to do once baby arrives. As it stands now, I work 40+ hours a week, take two night classes for graduate school, and actively participate in a women's organization. A baby cannot be added into this mix without some shifts.

I haven't decided completely on my plans, nor would it be fair for me to blog about it here before I talk to my employer, but clearly these are clearly among the biggest decisions expecting parents have to make.

The only research I've done on this so far is watching how other women I know have done it. I have been really impressed on the range of decisions people have made to accomodate their needs, situations, and lifestyles. And I really don't want this blog to devolve into a place where women blame each other for the choices they make.

Because the truth is, these are hard choices to make. And nobody is out there trying to make it easier for anyone else. Maternity leave and paternity leave policies at work aren't fair. Health insurance companies are evil overlords. Child care options are less than appealing. Families are spread across time zones. Classes don't take themselves. Breastfeeding in public is a the subject of a major debate on decency.

I feel incredibly lucky that my hubby and I have a good head start on saving money, so we won't have our choices completely limited by financial concerns. And I know that those around me will try to help make it work. And that's a good thing...because, you know, it takes a village.

Any thoughts or suggestions out there?