The New Balance

My plan had been to finish up all of my work for the semester (which ends April 25) by the baby's due date (April 16). But she came three weeks early, so.... new plan!

Fortunately, I feel good and have lots of help. So I'm going to attempt to go to class tonight (but maybe just for an hour), write a paper by Saturday, and go to class on Saturday. I know I don't have to, but I kind of want to. Mostly, I want to bring her and show her off!

As for work, well, I'm officially unemployed right now. I guess April 1 began my maternity leave/ leave of absence/ termination (whatever you feel like calling it). If you'll recall I had a super-productive day at work the day my water broke, so I actually (mostly) left things in a good place. I still have my office to clean out, but I probably take care of that in a couple of weeks.

I'm giving myself some time to figure out this new balance...but so far, I think I really like it.

PS: Our in-house pediatrician moved in yesterday. Lucky, eh?

Feeling Good About Life

I'm just feeling really good, and I thought that I'd share. I really thought I'd be more sore and more tired...more "over it"...than I do at this point. So I thought it'd be nice for y'all to read a "life's just dandy" post on a pregnancy blog since they seem to be so rare.

Today, I wrote a 15-page new business proposal and presented some client work to our firm's board of directors. Yep, that was in one day. Oh yeah, and I stepped out for an hour at noon to have a delicious, expensive, outdoor lunch with my amazing husband. Beautiful weather. And I'm leaving by 6. And I get to go to a PEO meeting (my women's group) which always means a good dinner.

Cletus is happily kicking at my ribs. BD said it would be helpful (not naggy) for me to give him a to-do list. Seriously, life is good.

The Work Situation

I billed this blog as a "working woman's guide to pregnancy"...and yet I've been nearly silent on my maternity leave discussions and plans. This is because I've heard too many stories about people getting fired or in trouble for saying things about their office or employers on their personal blogs. So, I wanted to make sure everything was on the up and up before I took it online.

A bit of background...

I have been working at the same, wonderful public relations firm since 1999. Very few people in PR stay at the same place for a long time (two to three years seems like the average term). I have been incredibly loyal to the firm, because they have been incredibly loyal and supportive of me. I could definitely see myself here for the long-haul.

I also started graduate school (part-time, night class) last June. This decision was supported by my boss.

Then I got pregnant.

Okay, so I have the potential of making a beautiful life collage, using three main elements: motherhood, career, and academia. But am I a talented enough artist to do all three at once? My answer is probably not...and that if I tried I'd probably also be short-changing my roles as a wife and friend.

So I approached my bosses in January about this dilemma, and asked for their reaction to the following plan: that I take a leave of absence when the baby arrives that spans from delivery through the completion of my master's degree. That way I'd be home with the baby during the day and continue taking classes at night. With five courses left (one of which is a thesis), I projected I could return by January or May 2008, depending on my ability to juggle school and new motherhood.

Over the last two months, we have had dozens more conversations about the "plan." In short, they understand what I want (or think I want) to do... but it is inconvenient and undesirable for them. They say.... How about part-time starting in September? What if a big proposal opportunity comes through the door? Can we bid you in? Would you be able to work on an hourly basis on proposals? My answer to all of these questions had to be a "maybe," since I just don't really know what lies ahead.

Our firm's maternity leave policy is four weeks of paid leave with up to two additional weeks where you can use vacation or sick leave. We do not have a policy for leave of absence. So this is why I now have a letter of termination in my file.

So on April 14, I will technically no longer be employed. Anywhere. Weird. Do I worry that I won't be able to get a job back at the firm? No. Not really. But it is weird to think about.

I feel fortunate that I work in PR...in an agency...which has a revolving base of clients and projects anyway. My job changes on a regular basis anyway, so it won't be the biggest deal that it will undoubtedly be different when I get back. New project, new client...probably new team. C'est la vie.

But as great of a firm as it as--and as progressive and friendly my bosses are--this hasn't exactly been the easiest of negotiations. I really feel for the moms who've had to make impossible situations work out, simply because the options aren't there. It goes to show, we still really haven't figured out this "women in the workplace" thing.

It's a New Day!

Hallelujah, I've gotten through the week (mostly). A quick update...

*WORK: the campaign launch yesterday was a huge success and the client is very happy. We started the day with a story in the New York Times and on Good Morning America. There's a lot more work to do now to sustain the campaign, but anyone who's worked on a launch before knows how intense they are. Phew!

*SCHOOL: I enrolled in two courses this semester and had my first taste of both this week. One, I love...the other was just not going to work out for me in this final trimester of pregnancy. It's not just that it was going to be a lot of work; it was going to be a lot of work that I was not going to enjoy. So, for the first time ever in my academic career, I dropped a class. I'm really excited about the course I've replaced it with, which is much more in line with my day-to-day job and interests. This semester is still going to be a complicated jungle between school, work, and the final three months of pregnancy...but I think it's doable.

*LIFE: BD and I now have in our driveway our new baby-friendly Subaru. It rules. It has butt-warmers. Need I say more?

*CLETUS THE FETUS: The kidlet has still been moving all around. Last night, it staged a Cirque du Soleil two-hour act in my belly. Freaky. In other news, I pitched a reporter named Rad (short for "Radford") this week and promptly decided it was the coolest name I had ever heard. So you may start hearing me refer to the kidlet as "Rad" or "Baby Rad." Yeah, that's sweet.

*FUN: The program at my women's group meeting this week was "A Champagne and Food Pairing Extravaganza." Even though I didn't imbibe, I did have a yummy assortment of poached pears, almond cookies, mushroom quiche, salad, and pear and brie bruschetta. MMmmmm....philanthropy!

Just Need to Get Through This Week

You may have noticed that my blog posts are a bit thin this week. Well, it's a doozie of a week. I've started my new semester in graduate school (two courses), I had a meeting for my women's group, and--this is the big one--I'm prepping for a Thursday campaign launch at work. When people ask me how the baby is doing, this is the project I think about.

And I'm working really hard not to get stressed out about it all. And yet, my right eyebrow started to uncontrollably (and quite visibly) twitch the other day. It clearly did not get the memo on avoiding stress.

The Art of Avoiding Stress

Back in November, BD saw a Discovery channel program on fetal development and then reported to me that I should try to limit stress, because it can be harmful to the baby.

Since I routinely operate on a high level (or as I call it-- "a healthy level") of stress, it is a real effort for me not to do too much, go too fast, or think too much.

I love my job a lot, but it is probably the #1 source of stress in my day-to-day life. I just don't care enough about house stuff or things like that to devote my stress to those channels. So, work it is! I tend to juggle about four clients and all of their varying needs, and I'm constantly dealing with "peak time" for at least one of them. Right now, for example, I'm consumed by one particular campaign launch that requires me to chant on an hourly basis "don't get stressed, don't get stressed." I find myself doing lots of deep breathing and defensive laughing.

This is also the reason I didn't watch the President's speech last night. Definitely wouldn't have been able to handle that.

Job, School, Baby: What's the Right Mix?

It's probably time to start seriously thinking about what we are going to do once baby arrives. As it stands now, I work 40+ hours a week, take two night classes for graduate school, and actively participate in a women's organization. A baby cannot be added into this mix without some shifts.

I haven't decided completely on my plans, nor would it be fair for me to blog about it here before I talk to my employer, but clearly these are clearly among the biggest decisions expecting parents have to make.

The only research I've done on this so far is watching how other women I know have done it. I have been really impressed on the range of decisions people have made to accomodate their needs, situations, and lifestyles. And I really don't want this blog to devolve into a place where women blame each other for the choices they make.

Because the truth is, these are hard choices to make. And nobody is out there trying to make it easier for anyone else. Maternity leave and paternity leave policies at work aren't fair. Health insurance companies are evil overlords. Child care options are less than appealing. Families are spread across time zones. Classes don't take themselves. Breastfeeding in public is a the subject of a major debate on decency.

I feel incredibly lucky that my hubby and I have a good head start on saving money, so we won't have our choices completely limited by financial concerns. And I know that those around me will try to help make it work. And that's a good thing...because, you know, it takes a village.

Any thoughts or suggestions out there?

Working While Pregnant

A great article with tips on working while pregnant (particulary about the timing of the announcement):

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/1/T011900.asp